The occasional rant 2: DaDa-Land
Ah well it is may the fifth and the Eagle of Hyperion is having an enlightened day.
And yes, I still do not care what my way of refering to myself is or is not.
2 Days of really bad dreams and the horror of some undescribable force performing spiritual origami with my inner self as paper, and I ended up in this wonderful realm of enlightenment I choose to call "Dada-Land".
And despite this entry being a rant this is not meant in a sarcastic way. It is really wonderful here, in the right hemisphere of my brain. Everything is right, everything is wonderful, everything is elevating, everything is full of comfort.
It is like being wrapped up in the most tender, most encompassing, most warming embrace of a person you love more than words or every other means of transmitting something can ever say. It is, in a way, the ultimate love. It is heaven, the realm of sheer serenity, the peak of the infinitely high spire of mount celestia.
Enlightenment, if you will.
And since this state of consciousness cannot be harmed or described in any way, there is nothing wrong with writing a rant about it.
I had a conversation just about an hour ago with a friend whose opinion I value a lot and whom I call the Red Kite of Dionysos, which brought up a lot of things about DaDa-Land that eat away sanity faster than a spark ignites gasoline.
Most importantly it became clear that the feeling of DaDa-Land is in no way describable. What the fuck? Which bloody bastard decided that the most wonderful of all states of being had to be an indescribable one, god dammit! Where is the sense in that? Something that is indescribalbe can also never be shared! Which in turn means, that no matter how wonderful it is, it will make you the loneliest person on this fraggin planet! What kind of utter bullshit is that?!? And it does not end there. Over the course of the conversation it became crystal clear that in order to enter DaDa-Land you have to shed everything that makes you human! Every opinion, every habit, every trait of character, every hope, every DREAM.....they all cease to exist here! What remains besides an empty shell if these things are annihilated? Entering DaDa-Land means to DIE! Your ego, your self-awareness, even your thoughts all vanish. You cease to exist! And if there is no more "you" or "I" then what is the sense in being there? What good is DaDa-Land if you have to strip all humanity in order to get there? Bloody fucking hell, which sort of ultimately crazed wanker callng himself "God" came up with such an insane idea?
While these revelations can be brushed aside fairly easily since they refer to things of a very abstract nature (try "feeling" an ego), there is one disadvantage of DaDa-Land that much more directly tangible and also much more horrific.
While gliding through DaDa-Land I found an old blog entry of a loose accquaintance of mine. Let us call her the Fox of Athena. This entry spoke of love. The most romantic, most intense, most heartfelt kind of love on this planet. The love we all dream of having. The love that is just the one crucial step away from the feeling I called "true love" in my last entry. The "safe version" of true love, if you will. The greatest imaginable joy, a dream so wonderful even thinking about it makes you want to cry.
Not in DaDa-Land though. The greatest feeling a human is capable of is mercilessly crushed as if it was a sickness that needed to be eradicated. Just try to imagine this for a moment.
In the realm of enlightenment, love is dead. You open the portal of heaven and what greets you is death! Who in the hell decided it has to be that way? Not enough that you cannot share DaDa-Land, you are even denied the fullfilling of the most elemental desire! Holy shit, the creator of the universe must have a real good sense of being a total asshole!
You are given ultimate comfort and robbed of everything that made you human. Even love is not left untouched!
Dammit what good is that?
It is like some omnipotent, utterly sadistic superbeing hands you the keys to paradise and then robs you of all five senses with the exception of pain perception and then gives you a titanic kick in the balls, which in turn ruins every kind of fun you might have in that heaven that lies ahead of you.
And this totally pisses me off!
8 fragging years of practice and how do I end up? Totally ripped off!
And not only that! This devious little land has the habbit of not even giving you a choice! It simply forces itself upon you, and the frequency of my visits there is about to go through the roof.
"Screwed by enlightenment - The best way to get yourself dehumanized"
none of what I have just said matters here in DaDa-Land. And while what I have said is perfectly true it is not what you think it is.
It stems from a way of thinking that ceases to exist as well. I had to forcefully reacreate it in order to write these lines. There is no pain here. No sorrow, no rage. Once you are here your awareness of the world around you changes in a way that simply nullifies everything that might hurt you or make you sad and makes room for something completely new and different. As I said at the start: Da-Da-Land cannot be "hurt". Not by a rant, not by anything else. And DaDa-Land can also never hurt you.
The artificial rant I wrote above is what YOU will think at one point or another should you ever decide to pursue the goal of enlightenment. It is what the Red Kite of Dionysos thought throughout our conversation. And I am fairly sure it is what the Fox of Athena will think if I ever try to describe DaDa-Land in front of her.
And that is what truly pisses me off, for real this time!
You cannot describe DaDa-Land. If you do, you will frighten everyone to death, preventing them from ever trying to go there. And if you do not, many people will never know DaDa-Land exists. And that is the damnedest thing!