The occasional rant 3: Wishes
Allright, may the 9th and the Eagle of Hyperion has finally nailed it.
Nailed what? Well, have a little patience, allright? This rant will smack you in the face soon enough.
In my last entry I spoke about the effect the description of DaDa-Land has on people. The Red Kite of Dionysos fled in horror, afraid to lose his sanity and his happiness and supposedly the Fox of Athena would do the same, although she is, as far as I can tell, a much stronger and much wiser person.
It just so happened that I had another conversation about this topic with another close friend of mine. Let us call him the Coyote of Eris. The interesting thing is, that he is actually one of the few people who have not only thought about DaDa-Land but have actually BEEN there. In his case, his visit there lasted for 4 years. 4 YEARS!. From what I know this state of mind called "enlightenment" is extremely fragile, persisting only for minutes or hours at first contact.
And to be honest, I was a lot more than awestruck when I heard that. I was even more struck (thunderstruck this time), when I heard that he had left DaDa-Land and chosen to only come back for very short periods of time.
What in the name of the horrors of hell could make a human leave DaDa-Land, who is seemingly a MASTER when it comes to staying there???
I know a lot of transcendentalists, psychonauts, occultists and like-minded people and each and everyone of them would give their left hand to be able to reside in DaDa-Land for so long.
But he, the master, had left. This quite intrigued me and, I must admit, triggered a fair amount of fear. There was, after all, a good possibility that I had overlooked one or two crucial things.
But, being the erisian bastard that he is, he left me without an answer. What arose was one of the times that give me the opportunity to show that I do not call myself the Eagle of Hyperion for nothing, so I set out on my own to find possible catches, trapdoors and all sorts of ugly things that might turn DaDa-Land into something highly unpleasant.
The first thing I stumbeld upon turned out to be by far one of the most elemental drives of human life: Wishes.
Pesky little bastards, these wishes. Tiny demons the idiots called "humans" treat as loveable pets. Yes, I said "idiots" and I mean it. If you prefer a less insulting term substitute it with "sleepwalker".
We all have theam, no question, and to most of us these tiny demons are as natural as breathing. They give us identification, an ego, an awareness ouf our inner selves, they form a path ahead of us, provide us with aims, goals and above all, a sense of life.
Sounds like there is nothing wrong with them, right? Well wrong again!
Time to start the rant....
Allright, here is Joe No-one. He does not have any wishes and accordingly has no personality, no disdains, no fears no nothing. To him, life is a fountain of infinite miralces and everyday a new world full of new things unfolds. He is a being without bias, without sorrow, without fear, without pain.
He is like Jesus, Buddha, Krishna and all the other saviors. He is what we would define as a perfectly dvinine being, completely innocent.
And then comes the first wish. Suddenly the infinite number of paths laid out before Joe No-one dramatically deacreases to one or two. One or two!!!
All it takes is one wish to polarize the spectrum of experiences into a FEW ones you like and an INFINITE number you do not like or do not care about! One wish and you will be trapped in the golden cage of your ego. One wish an ALL divinity is GONE! One wish is enough to kill a savior! One wish and another pontential Jesus nails himself to the cross!
And what do you say? "Well, wishes are good. They give us meaning..blablabla".
How can you honestly say that? Is that really what you want to think? Well newsflash dude: you just became the embodiement of cruelty!
The most elementary logic shows that all you do by taking up a wish is GENERATING the very things that you will come to fear at one point or another! Fear and terror are not in this world because they are, but because YOU MADE THEM! Your WISHES made them! If that is not pure idiocy, then what is? But instead of facing that fact all humans do is lamenting about all their unfulfiled wishes.
"Why can I not have this oder that?"
"Why is love so hard to attain?"
"Why is the world so full of tragedy?"
"Why do people always hurt me and care so little about me?"
Well, what did you expect? By taking up wishes you create, as I have said, an INFINITE spectrum of things you do not want or do not care about. EVERY human does that. And you wonder why you are, most of the time, a part of another persons infinite "do not like, do not care" - spectrum?
How blind can you be, goddammit! YOU made it that way. You and nobody else! What good is a wish? It gives you happiness for a short time and unhappiness for a much longer time! It is like a DRUG. Try letting go your wishes. Right here, right now and face it: you cannot! You have become a slave to them without being aware of it. Yet you parade them in front of you like they are everything that matters, like gods. No wonder DaDa-Land frightens everyone like withdrawal frightens the addict! And who is aware of that? Maybe a hundred people on this planet, maybe even less. And you honestly wonder why nothing goes the way you want it to?
Well, here is the solution: WAKE UP!
Let us get back to the Coyote of Eris. After having found the idiocy of wishes I re-examined our conversation, in particular his personal portal to DaDa-Land. And there it was, as clear as they come:
He had entered DaDa-Land through the fulfillment of a wish! A fulfiment that had persisted for 4 Years. Then it had ended. And voila, the now unfulfilled wish that had once opened the portal had now closed it, brutally forcing him out of DaDa-Land. Since he had never been aware of the mechanism that had allowed him to enter DaDa-Land and the paradoxicity of wishes, DaDa-Land ITSELF had become a wish to him. I guess everyone can imagine what it is like when the ultimate serenity is taken away from you while you still wish for it. And again: perfect proof for the idiocy of wishes.
Then there is the Red Kite of Dionysos. He as well was totally afraid of letting go his wishes. He has, as most young people astrong yearning for love. The thought of abandoning the possible fulfillment of this wish made him go crazy. "Please, do not take that away from me!" he said to me. "If you take that away only death will remain. I do not want to die!"
A good example of what wishes can do a human. An he is certainly no exception.
Tkae a good look at his words. He MISTOOK his wishes for his LIFE, and when it comes to philosophy or transcendentalism he is by far one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. EVEN HE did not see the idiocy of wishes. It is so subtle so well disguised that few of us ever get the very CHANCE to see it!
Is that not something highly unfair? From my point of view it is more devilish than most things in the world. The idiocy of wishes is, by the way, what the christians talk about when they speak of the devil and his temptations, although most of them do not realize what they are refering to and instead focus on their WISH for an enemy they can hate, god dammit!
Tha last example of what wishes can do to a human is the Fox of Athena. As I have said one of her blog entries speaks of the ultimate love. This girl is indeed capapble of ultimate compassion and total commitment when it comes to love, capapble of totally losing herself in the love for another human. She is capapble of LIVING one of the highest ideals of romanticism which is, I must admit, quite an achievement. And what has it given her 90% of the time? PAIN. Her wish for love was and is so strong that it is ultimately unsustainnable. She is a slave to that highest of ideals. As many of us are. When I first met her we almost instantly spoke about love and she swiftly revealed all the dumb things she had done over the course of pursuing her ideal. And it was a long list.
This is nothing uncommon these days. We all know one or two people who repeatedly smack their heads into the wall of romantic futility.
And why? If you ask them, they will not have an answer ready most of the time.
Now talk about wishes being a good thing! How cynic can you get?
Not only will they make you do the craziest things and give you a major kick in the bals of your soul with a high frequency, they will also leave you without any kind of explanation and thus the worst kind of pain there is. You cannot fight what you cannot explain.
As I said the Fox is very strong intelligent and wise person. In fact I guess she will be one of the few humans that all humanity regards as "great" in a few years. Yet still she always fails when it comes to achieving love. So if even a really great human is utterly defenseless when it comes to wishes then who is not?
Few are the souls who ever realize that. And if they do, they turn away, happily blinded by the drug called wishes! Idiots.
Normally I would not blame these people, since here in DaDa-Land there is no reason for it. But this is a rant, so I do.
YOUR wishes are the reason for your happiness or unhappiness and nothing else!
So wake up or shut up!